Five Years

Chingu seems to really like diet soda.

This is as good a time as any to recap the last five years of my life, no?

In 2021 I returned to America from my job teaching English in South Korea.  I moved in with my Dad in Bellingham, Washington.  He was 88 at the time and dealing with, well, age, as well as a very bad romantic relationship that had just ended.  Basically, he needed full-time care, and he couldn't drive any more, and he lived in the middle of the woods.  Neither of us were thrilled by all of this, but it was necessary short of putting him in a home.

I worked a weekend / part-time job with the Whatcom County Humane Society which changed my life, in no small part because I adopted the tuxedo terror (pictured above) and his sister -- Chingu and Mandu (Korean names for "friend" and "dumpling.")

In 2022 my Dad was finally diagnosed with vascular dementia.  It was a secret to nobody, especially his doctor, who seemed strangely reluctant to actually give him the test that would allow for the dementia diagnosis.  These were, understandably, very difficult times for everyone.  I cried when the doctor asked my Dad some simple questions -- Date? Location? Where are you, basically.  It wasn't just that he was "wrong" in his answers, but that he couldn't fathom the concepts of test, date, location, and, well, reality.

Summer

Chingu in Attack Pattern Bookcase.

It's July!  It's hot as hell outside as we move into July 4th weekend!

1)  I'm pet-sitting for the fist half of July for somebody who owns an actual pool.  Yay!

2)  The US has made it into the Round of 16 with a tough game against Belgium ahead.  Did Balogun deserve that red card?  Well, he did step on the guy's ankle pretty hard.

3)  Trump's 250th Birthday for America has been and will continue to be a shit-show.  Never start a land war in Asia, and never plan outdoor events for D.C. in the middle of summer.  Seriously, wouldn't be surprised if people die of heat stroke.

4)  I'm offically looking at houses in North Carolina.  In August I'll actually drive down and look at a few, then buy one.  I am so ready to leave Maryland and Frederick behind.  As the kids say, the vibes are no good.

5)  I turn 52 at the end of July.

6)  I finished the Gene Wolf Book of the New Sun tetralogy.  I might have more to say other than I enjoyed it, and, I'm pretty sure a lot of it flew over my head.  I have the fifth book too but am taking a little needed break.

Enjoy summer!  Drink lots of water, or adult beverages of your choosing!

Brotherly Love, City of

Greetings from Philadelphia, in particular the lovely and bougie Manayunk neighborhood!

Why am I in the lovely and bougie Manayunk neighborhood, your might ask?  It's a long story!

My Dad, who passed almost three years ago, was a scientist with the Department of Agriculture.  He got sent around the world (Africa and Asia mostly) to help local farmers and scientists grow more food using advanced (or in some cases, quite primitive but effective) agricultural techniques.  He met many fellow scientists along the way, and developed many friendships.

So in the 1980's, he helped with getting visa sponsorship for an Indian colleague and his wife (a medical doctor).  It's a complicated story, and one that almost didn't work out, but in the end my Dad helped these two very accomplished people and their daughter settle in the United States.  They had been reaching out to my Dad for years, but due to his hearing being shot and his dementia, he wasn't great about keeping in touch with friends.

In any event me and my sister and my nephew drove up to Philly yesterday for lunch with these very wonderful people (and their daughter and her husband, and assorted grandchildren).

So that's how I ended up outside of an organic Italian restaurant crying, when these folks told me and my sister how the memory of my dad was a blessing for their entire family.

People are complicated.  My dad could be so stern and withdrawn on meeting him, and you might never realize how damn funny he was after a beer and getting to know somebody, anybody, a little bit.

I miss you Dad.  We had such a great time celebrating you yesterday but I have a feeling you already knew that.

Healed!

Worth documenting?  I had some minor surgery yesterday to remove some skin tabs from my armpits.  Kind of embarrassing!  Anyhow, things went fine.  A few hours after I got home the topical wore off though, and He-Man James turned into a baby searching for the aspirin bottle.  Anyhow, I'm trying to be more forward-thinking when it comes to my health, and not putting off (especially easy) encounters with the doctor like this one.

The Big Move

It's been two and a half years since my Dad passed.  Believe it or not, we're still dealing with some paperwork issues regarding his finances.  This is a good thing, actually, since he had his money in trust that kept most of it quite safe beyond expected taxes.

So lo and behold, here's me at 51 having my own trust written up.  So much adulting, it hurts.  But it would be crazy now to die without one.

So that's probably my primary task right now, along with some related things.  I'm moving from Maryland to North Carolina, likely in early Fall.  I guess it's best to sell your house in the summer?  Like I said, this is all new to me.  I'm getting things done on my house now (needed a new water heater, a Level Two EV charger, a leaky toilet that's hopefully easy to fix) to get it ready.  In addition to much lower taxes in North Carolina (I know, I know, nice things require tax dollars, usually) I'm basically going to be "flipping" my own house (does that make sense?).  Housing prices are much cheaper down there, and what's a modest three bedroom in Maryland can buy a lot more down south.  And really, I'm only looking for a two or three bedroom with a small yard.  Point is, even with modest expectations of sale price I'll be making a decent amount of money moving into roughly the same type and size of house.

I've got my nephew's graduation coming up, then some pet-sitting in July, and in August I think I'll make my physical trip to North Carolina to choose a place.  (It's amazing how much you can do online these days, of course).

I'm excited!  I wish the wheels were turning a bit faster but in the meantime I've been writing and looking into what it would take to start a tutoring business in my new home state.  I'm qualified to substitute teach down there (like here in Frederick, the standards are quite low) so I'll probably do some of that to get a start.

I'm reading Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun series, and it's nuts.  I'm looking up two or three words every page due to what must have been his deep knowledge of Latin and Greek.  I'm in book three now, and things are clicking into place -- this series is insane.  It's starts off gritty dark fantasy and then, transforms.  The main character is a torturer and executioner with a philosophical streak and a sex addiction.  Not a bad way to spend the spring and early summer!

Moms Are The Best. Dads Too, Usually.

I had an unexpectedly great Mother's Day, believe it or not.  My sister (herself a great mom) had a brunch at home with some of her amazing female mom friends.  It was all very pleasant.  I drank one beer.  I got to watch the Orioles actually win a game.

My own mom died when I seventeen, of cancer.  It was the month before I graduated from high school.  It was 32 years ago.

I look at that number "32" and I swear someone must be trying to play a trick on me.

Anyhow, best wishes to all the moms, and dads, and kids, and orphans out there.

A Proper Update

I don't think I've ever mentioned on this here blog that from January to December of 2025 I was working at the local board of elections, making it both a county (Frederick) and a state (Maryland) job.  Things started off well -- I really admired the overall mission, and I liked my coworkers.  However, it quickly became apparent that everyone in management was a) toxic b) very stupid or c) both.

Don't take my word for it!  I went to state level HR multiple times and all of my complaints were considered valid.  Right before last Christmas the director let me know I was being asked to leave.  I got a letter saying it was purely for budgetary reasons and not for cause.  Thing is, that's bullshit because with the 2026 primary and general elections approaching this is actually the busiest time of the year.

Still don't take my word for it?  This past January I was contacted by Maryland HR.  They wanted me to come in for a meeting with two members of the Board of Directors.  A number of other employees were complaining about the a) toxic and b) very stupid atmosphere of the place.  I went in for a 90 minute meeting and said my piece.  The place is run by lazy dummies who are holding on until they qualify for full pensions.

So getting shit-canned (ahem, "let go") sucks, especially right before Christmas.  But I had been applying for other jobs, and got one with the Department of Juvenile Services.  I'll make this even shorter -- I was hired as a juvenile detention warden ("Resident Advisor").  On my second day, with no proper training other than "don't defend yourself if you are assaulted," I was, uh -- assaulted.  The properly trained R.A. who observed the incident started laughing his ass off about it.  I quit that moment.  (This all took place as the beginning of April.)

So anyhow, goodbye Maryland.  I understand that nice things cost taxes, but to pay Maryland-level taxes and actually observe, in two different locations, incredibly shitty levels of competence was a bit of a wake-up call.  Not to mention the fact that while Frederick, Maryland made sense for my dad's needs regarding seeing his family, he's unfortunately gone now.  And honestly, Frederick is a lot more bad than it is good.  With its MAGA criminal sheriff and high schools with unresolved gang-rapes, it's time for a change.  By my back-of-the-envelope calculations, I'll start saving about 30 to 40 thousand a year just in state and property taxes.  (For what it's worth, North Carolina does have state income tax but it's much more reasonable.)

I'm having some work done on my house in preparation for a sale.  I might need to replace the roof, which would be expensive, but that's just the way it is.  This summer I'm going to start looking for a new house somewhere in or west of Wilmington, North Carolina.  It's not retirement, yet -- at the very least I'm qualified to substitute teach down there until I find something else.  But I am in a good position financially, and at 51 I'm planning on retiring long before I hit 60.

I'm excited.  I think my cats are too.  I want to walk on the beach at least three of four times a week and take the same damn picture of the ocean over and over again.  Also, barbecue.

Always more to say, but I think this is a good enough explanation for now.  Wish me luck!

Something New

I'm starting a new job this Wednesday.  It's been nice to have a little time off, and a relief to have gotten out of a very toxic previous work situation.  It's going to be tough, but I'm excited to be doing something new.  It's -- education adjacent, I guess you could say.  It also pays well and offers full benefits.

We'll see how it goes!

Christmas Fucking Spirit!

And a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and all!  All year I was thinking of ways to get this blog back to some kind of normal routine beyond cat pictures and literary quotations.  Then again, I really like cat pictures and literary quotations so maybe change isn't required.

Work has been kind of miserable, actually, and I'm once again interviewing for new jobs.  My current gig started off really strong but the usual suspects (highly toxic management) spoiled the fun, or at least the sense of making a real contribution.

As for 2026 well, I'm thinking of moving.  Maryland is pleasant but (at the risk of sounding like an adult) the taxes are killing me, and I want to live near a beach.  I'm considering options south of Virginia but north of Georgia.  I want to get into bicycling again.  I want to revisit some writing I did when I was living in Bellingham taking care of my Dad, two years gone now.  I want to go out more but not to bars -- maybe a bicycle gang that roves around town hitting up used bookstores.

I'll spend Christmas Eve with my sister and her family and then Christmas Day -- maybe a hike, maybe a drive to one of the few remaining Civil War battlefields in my area that I haven't visited.

But wherever you find yourself, I hope you enjoy a few days with loved ones or by yourself -- who's counting?

Important Life Update

For some reason my YouTube feed is nothing but Nazi documentaries and prison cooking clips, things like five course meals made from ramen and ketchup packets.

I might be living the best life, or maybe not. Honestly not sure.

Back From The Beach

Corolla Beach was fantastic.  I walked and swam every day.

Meanwhile, work has been a bit disappointing.  It turns out I was not being paid my full share since I started at the new place back in January.  That, and a toxic supervisor mean I'm looking for something else but planning on staying on in the meantime.

I guess there's no perfect job but finding something where I'm treated with a modicum of dignity would be nice.  Although I did get a small pay raise.

Summertime

I'm off to the beach for a few days.  Blogging will not be happening but I'll hopefully come back with some good pictures.

Spring Sprang Sprung

Things are good.  Spring is here, and I've spent the day working on the (very small) yard.  My two cats are healthy and shedding like crazy.  The new job is really going well, and I might have an update on that later this spring.  And hey, I just bought my first electric car -- a Hyundai Kona.  I'm loving it so far.

Longer term, I'll be going to the Outer Banks with my sister and her family in July.  It's been a while since I've had a real beach-y vacation, so I'm stoked.

Job Stuff

I started a new job last week and it's going really well.  After 12 years teaching ESL in South Korea, and various other things along the way (substituting, tutoring, composition teaching in graduate school) I think part of me will always think of myself as a teacher, or an ex-teacher.

I'm also certain that thousands of years ago, sitting around the in-cave fire, the cave-people elders were complaining about the young folks.  But something really does seem to have changed -- so much unnecessary drama, the occasional death threat from a second grader, the addiction to cell phones -- in terms of what a teacher's job is supposed to be now.

I'll say more soon but it's nice to go into work and not have to hear any screaming, or any n- or f-bombs.

Deck the Halls!

Happy Ceramic Tree Christmas to you!

By my count this will be my third Christmas with Mandu, cream and brown spots, and Chingu, the tuxedo terror.  I'll be spending Christmas Eve with my sister and her family.  No airports, just a short drive!

I hope you have a great Christmas as well, wherever you may find yourself!

All The Nomz

Happy Thanksgiving and belated Chuseok!

Tomorrow I'll be visiting my sister and making the garlic mashed potatoes and fresh bread.

A Goodbye In Full

It's been a year and a few days since my dad died.  He was 94 and lived an incredible life involving travelling around the world (literally!) as a scientist.  In the end, my older sister and I did our best to keep him comfortable, along with some amazing nurses and the Frederick County Hospice.  He died in his new home here in Frederick, Maryland, with his family and friends all getting a chance to say goodbye.

Taking care of him was hard at the end.  Dementia had taken over, and it was hard not to be upset with him when he cursed at a nurse, or even at me or my sister.  The anger came from his own knowledge that he had lost and was losing control of the simplest things, and I don't blame him.  I guess I find myself a year later dealing with my own anger at -- what exactly?  Human biology?  Aging?  These are hard, immutable facts that we all have to deal with in our own way.

I'm substitute teaching now, but still looking for something full time.  I think he'd be pleased though.  He grew up dirt poor, and education was his pathway to having an amazing and fulfilling life.  I think he'd appreciate all my stories about the good days and the bad days.  I'm also missing simple things like watching college football with him, or having a meal or some coffee.

We're all deeply complicated as people.  And I think we generally do our best, and try to learn from those moments when we're not at out best.  I wish I'd given him more hugs, or been a little more patient with him.  At times it was so hard to know exactly what he wanted, and I hope just being there was usually -- certainly not always -- enough.

We miss you a lot Dad.  I know you can still hear me, sometimes, when I talk to you.  And if you're napping or busy in the garden, that's also fine.  It can wait.

The Agony and The Agony

For two straight years the Orioles have made the playoffs and then totally disappeared, offensively.  (They are a hitting team, not pitching wonders.)

And I'm really not feeling football this year, maybe because I miss watching it with my Dad.

So, thank you for reading this pity-party of a post.  I'll root for the Dodgers and Shohei I guess.

Ah, 50

Put my MP3 player in the washer tonight and bricked it.

My short-term memory is crumbling to dust.

At least I didn't lose a cat during the dryer phase, but I did have to double-check.

Welcome to 50, James!

Last night at home I was watching a movie and noticed something wet on my upper lip.  Since I am a Disgusting Person, I just licked at it thinking it was some kind of nasal drip.  Turns out, it was blood!

Basically, by the time I got up to grab some wet wipes my right nostril was gushing the red stuff.  I ruined a good hoodie (unless I want to walk around looking like an ax murderer, but you never know).

I got it under control but while sleeping last night I coughed up a ball of something hideous, part blood and phlegm and cranial fluid I think.

Anyhow, I'm 50 now.  Guessing it isn't cancer, but quite possibly leprosy.

In my defense, Maryland has gone from 95 degree, humid days, to more respectable 80 degrees and relatively dry.  I think that's why my mucous membranes are withering.

Good times!