"They were Xiaojie Tan, Daoyou Feng, Delania Ashley, Yaun Gonzalez, Julie Park and Heyeon Jeong Park"

Moira Donegan says what needs to be said about the anti-Asian, anti-woman hate crime that took place in Atlanta:

"Why do so many straight men come to resent and hate the women they find attractive? Maybe it’s a question of power. People often experience being sexually attracted to someone as if that person has a kind of power over them, and for a straight, white man like Long, positioned at the top of so many social hierarchies, this is likely one of his most acute experiences of another person’s power that he has ever faced. For men socialized in a sexist culture where rigid strictures of masculinity dictate that another person’s power over a man constitutes a failure of his masculinity, attraction to a woman can be interpreted as a threat posed by that woman – at least, it can for men of especially weak character. It is not hard to deduce how a racist and sexist man, reared in a culture of white supremacy and masculine entitlement, could experience his own powerlessness over his attraction to the women at the spas as a distressing humiliation. To be able to experience sexual attraction to another person without that feeling becoming a source of shame and rage requires a degree of self assurance and respect that Long, and men like him, evidently do not possess."

Easy access to guns, a former president glibly spewing racism, and an American culture awash in misogyny -- this type of violence will happen again.

And sex workers deserve the same rights and protections that anyone else has.

"truth must be spoken of as it is"

South Korea has a reputation for being a sexually conservative society, but it's also one where secret cameras in women's bathrooms are a rampant social problem, and the drugging and gang-raping of women in a nightclub leads to very little consequence for the (famous, wealthy) perpetrators.  So it's a shame that small steps towards balanced, comprehensive sex education have once again been shot down by the government:

"Contrary to parents’ belief that sex education will lead to their children having more sex, earlier, a survey on the aftereffects that CSE [comprehensive sexuality education] demonstrated on sexual behaviors revealed that 37 percent of 87 countries that were surveyed said its students had delayed initiation of sex after education, 31 percent said the frequency of sex was reduced and the use of condoms increased in 40 percent of the countries. 

 

Rather than lingering on the ministry’s already-made decision, Nam Yoon-jeong, the president of Think Sing Together who led the Nadaum project, hoped that this incident could be turned into an opportunity to talk about sex education and how sex is dealt with in Korea.

 

'Korea had been lacking proper sex education and any discussion on sex or human rights has been shut down whenever it began,' said Nam. 'We are exposed to sexual consumption and imagery everyday and everywhere, but an ironic stoic sentiment forbids us from talking about it publicly or officially. The ambivalent culture leads to children wondering about something they are exposed to, but getting twisted ideas of it because they’re not taught properly about what it is exactly. The truth must be spoken of as it is.'”

Nothing good can come of a hyper-sexualized society that can't talk openly and plainly about sex, contraception, homosexuality, sexual violence, and gender equality.  And if you click through for pictures, you'll notice that these so called "controversial" books are about as tame as can be.

You're Only Un-Electable or Un-Likable Until You Get Elected.

It's no secret my top two choices for the Democratic nominee were Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris.  Megan Garber unpacks exactly how the fraudulent "electability" or "likability" arguments get weaponized, over and over and over, against women like them but not so much the dudes:

"And, still, you won’t be able to prove it. The thing about internalized misogyny is that it is internal. 'Likability' is in a very broad sense a foundational requirement of any candidate. So is that other deeply subjective data point, 'authenticity.' The plausible deniability is baked into the logic of campaigning. Sexism, like racism, is both exhausting and exhaust-like: It is so common that people sometimes forget to be indignant about its presence. 'Electability' finds refuge in the fog. Instead of a woman, just not that woman, its explanation of things is I’m not sexist; other people are. Did they not vote for the woman because they have low opinions of women, or because they assume that other people do? You can litigate the question endlessly. That is, in some sense, the point.

In late 2008, the researchers David Paul and Jessi L. Smith published an article examining what happens when women run against men for the presidency. 'Although some polls indicate that 81 percent of Americans would personally vote for a qualified woman candidate from their party,' they wrote, 'other [2005] polls imply that nearly one‐third of Americans believe their "neighbors" are unwilling to vote for a woman.' And in a poll conducted in June and published in The Daily Beast, 74 percent of independents and Democrats claimed to be personally comfortable with the notion of a female president. Only 33 percent thought their neighbors would be similarly open-minded. In a New York Times article last summer, a voter said about Warren, 'I love her enthusiasm. She’s smart, she’s very smart. I think she would make an amazing president.' The voter added: 'I’m worried about whether she can win.'”

I like the specific focus on language here -- electability and likability really are incredibly vague concepts that masquerade as objective currency stamped by Chuck Todd or Chris Matthews' (RIP) omniscient political instincts.

"I don't think he / she is electable / likable" is literally just a statement of opinion.  It's just that David Brooks gets paid millions for saying it, and you don't.

Donald Trump was un-electable (pussy grabber, obvious racist, charlatan).  So was Barack Obama (too young, too black).

But somehow history will look at them as long-shots who got lucky.  (True!)  But somehow Warren and Harris (and Hillary four years earlier) will be remembered as too ambitious and too cold and let's be honest, too damn bitchy and uppity.

It's as if internalized misogyny in America is as terrible as internalized racism, if not worse!

(Also fuck Chuck Todd forever.)

"I, who had naively believed in peace and love"

I mentioned how much I enjoyed Trina Robbins' memoir Last Girl Standing.  In light of the recent success of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood and it's arguably problematic handling of hippies, Manson, and the far left in general, here's another passage worth quoting:

"In August 1969, beautiful actress Sharon Tate, almost nine months pregnant, was murdered in Los Angeles along with a group of her friends, all stabbed multiple times.  In November, the killers were found: a hippie commune of young men and women, but mostly women, led by a charismatic madman named Charles Manson.  I was horrified, but to a lot of hippies guys, including some of the underground cartoonists, he became a kind of cult figure.  Here was a guy who not only convinced women to sleep with him and whatever pals he had, but convinced them to kill for him, too.  They thought he was cool!  Kim [Deitch] was one of those guys who thought Manson was cool; so was his sometimes-cartoonist, drug-addled brother Simon, and so, it seemed, was Crumb, who drew comics obviously inspired by Manson.  He drew a cover for Print Mint's San Francisco Comic Book Club in which a Mansonesque guy hypnotizes a nubile teenybopper, and another comic in which the same Mansonesque character has brainwashed his chick followers into killing each other.  That one ends with a pile of naked women's bodies, on top of which sits the Manson character, fucking the dead bodies.  And it was supposed to be funny!  I, who had naively believed in peace and love, was beginning to realize that there was a lot of hostility toward women in these guys."

I generally find games of punch-the-hippies (pretty much the national past-time of even "centrist" news sources like CNN or MSNBC, or The Washington Post or New York Times) to be, at the very least, incredibly tedious.  But I don't think that was at all what Tarantino was up to in OUATiH.  His point was centered around changes in Old, Classic Hollywood and the New Wave represented by no other than Roman Polanski himself.  It's the two "old school" actors who heroically "save" the New Wave by, indeed, murdering the fuck out of those silly hippies.

I mean, there's a hell of a lot going on the last 15 minutes of that film.  To say that Tarantino is endorsing a punch-the-hippy world view, let alone a reactionary one, is only one piece of a larger whole.

Anyhow, I think Robbins has an important insight here (as does the rest of her book) as to how for men in the counter-culture free love meant just that -- non consequential hook-ups.  For the women,  they were welcome to as much sex as they wanted as well, but were still expected to make the beds and do the dishes and raise the babies, alone.

Deadbeats

South Korea has notoriously week child support laws.  Some women are stepping up to change things:

"For instance, if the noncustodial parent transfers their legal possessions and assets to someone else’s name, then the court cannot order them to pay because they have no money to their name. The Ministry of Gender Equality and Family can request the Commissioner of the National Tax Service or the head of the local government to 'garnish the estimated amount from [their] national and local tax refund' - yet, if the official amount of money they earn is zero or close to zero, then there’s nothing that can be done. Another step could be to file for the court to seize the tangible properties from inside their house, but again, the court cannot track anyone down if they flee their house or change their address.

In total, there are seven official legal steps that one could take to get the noncustodial parent to pay up, but there is a way out of each of them.

'Protesting outside your ex-husband’s house is difficult and even terrorizing,' said Kim. 'But we do it, because it’s the only thing we can do. If anyone says that they are going to hold a protest, we make time to help each other out.'”

As Grumpy Cat would have said, Good.

"not a moment to mince words"

Laurie Penny brings the fire here -- "The Criminalization of Women's Bodies Is All About Conservative Male Power":

"It’s time to be completely clear. Forcing a woman to give birth against her will is morally equivalent to rape. It’s exactly the same logic of entitlement and abuse: Men get to control women’s bodies. Female sexual agency must be punished. Women’s consent does not matter.

This is not a moment to mince words. This is a moment for moral clarity. Women’s personhood is not conditional. Women’s sexuality is not shameful. The only shameful thing, the only thing that no citizen who believes even fractionally in freedom should tolerate, is a world in which women are treated like things."

In growing parts of America, rapists are now literally less culpable than the women they rape and the doctors who treat them.

Not Looking, Thank You Very Much

It's no secret that South Korea is in the midst of a crushing demographic crisis, as fewer and fewer couples choose to have babies.  Now, many young South Koreans aren't even interested in dating:

"Money isn't the only issue facing students on Bae's course. They often cite news stories about sex crimes, voyeurism and gender discrimination, all of which have become major societal issues in South Korea.

There were 32,000 cases of sexual violence reported to police in 2017, compared to 16,000 in 2008, according to data from the National Police Agency.

Among these, partner violence has soared sharply. Between 2016 and 2018, the number of cases in which a person was assaulted by a romantic partner or date rose from 9,000 to almost 19,000.

College student Lee Ji-su, 21, said she was deterred from dating when a friend was assaulted by her boyfriend after she broke up with him. Lee said the friend was terrified because the man kept showing up at her home even after their relationship ended."

Dating is bullshit in any country -- the desperate act of trying to convince somebody you're worth their time and attention.  Throw in a slow economy, a highly traditional culture that is uncomfortable separating dating from sex from marriage from having kids, and a healthy dose of rape culture, and this is what you get.

Toxic Masculinity Is A Thing

The amount of denial it takes for any grown-ass man to say toxic masculinity doesn't exist is pretty incredible.

— Baby New James (@wetcasements) January 15, 2019

Feminism And Food In South Korea

South Korean men love to talk about how certain Korean foods and alcohols give "stamina" to all the dudes.  And by "stamina," of course they mean great big boners:

"'It is popular to talk about stamina foods,' said Jung Seo-young, a chef and founder of Bburi Kitchen, a traditional Korean cooking school. '[Korean] society is very conservative, and talking about one’s sex life is taboo,' so talking about 'stamin' is a subtle way to broach the subject.

Besides associations with traditional concepts of healing, male-oriented foods are often touted for their anthropomorphic qualities, said Jung.'For example, an octopus’s [phallus-shaped] tentacles moves vigorously. In [texts] from the Chosun dynasty [1392–1910], they advised people to eat it for stamina.'

Jenna Park, a 26-year-old recent graduate in Seoul, said that her ex-boyfriend would tell her not to eat all of the eel when they went out for dinner together. 'He said the tails, which are said to be the most powerful part of the eel, were better to be eaten by men like him.'

Female sexuality, however, remains a major taboo, and foods in Korea that are catered to women usually focus on beauty or motherhood."

In English, there's no good word for "male slut" because sexually adventurous men are considered virile, handsome, and capable.

You can see the transposition here to Korean food -- there are no female stamina foods, because sexual ability isn't something women are supposed to enjoy, let alone compare and revel in with their female friends.

And it is shocking to live in a country that is known for being so sexually conservative (repressed?) but routinely walking into a noodle restaurant decorated with thick wooden cocks (no accident -- the glans have all been lovingly polished) or, as mentioned and pictured, being invited to end a rigorous hike with a few shots of Erection Wine.

Hell, I don't even react to the double-barber pole handjob parlors any more.

Cultural coding is for real.

Anyhow, it seems like I've been bringing in some pretty mine-laden topics to my adult classes recently, but they've responded well and more openly than I expected.  And there are still plenty of "neutral" topics I bring in for them, but I think for a long time I've underestimated their willingness to talk about their personal experiences as Koreans.

Making The Wave Inclusive

As the Korean cosmetics industry, a branch of the larger "Hallyu" or South Korean cultural wave, begins to make inroads into the US and Europe there are concerns that darker skinned folk are being left out, intentionally or otherwise:

"Though, one subject that troubles her is the lack of K-beauty options for darker skin.

'As western consumers begin to hold domestic brands accountable for completely excluding darker-skinned people from their consumer base, I noticed that Korean brands were entering into the international market and not expanding their ranges to fit the new market,' she told the Korea JoongAng Daily. 

'As a darker-skinned K-beauty enthusiast, I find the most frustrating part of participating in the international K-beauty phenomenon is the idea that I do not have the right as a prospective consumer to request shades that will match people who look like me, even though the products are being sold in my backyard. There are Korean brands being sold in major U.S. supermarkets and cosmetic stores, in areas with highly diverse populations, and people with dark skin are completely excluded from enjoying that expansion. Dark skin is not exclusive to a particular race. You can be any race or ethnicity and have dark skin. It’s just interesting to see how dark skin is constantly seen as an unreliable consumer base when that is not at all the case.'”

Knowing as little as I do about fashion and beauty in general, I was content to just listen to my adult students talk about their experiences traveling abroad and what they thought of the issues involved.  It is, however, undeniably a huge business (especially in China and to a lesser extent Japan) and there's something non-Koreans seem to find especially attractive about South Korean women, or at least the products they use.

"escape the corset"

South Korea is having its #MeToo moment:

"Cha is part of a growing movement in South Korea fighting against unrealistic beauty standards that call for women to spend hours applying makeup and perform skincare regimes that involve 10 steps or more at each end of the day. Among their complaints is that women must wake up two hours before work to ensure perfect makeup, meticulously removing dead skin with peeling gel and steam towels before beginning their regimen.

Women sick of the laborious routine have started to post videos on social media of destroyed piles of cosmetics with the catch-cry 'escape the corset', likening makeup to the garments that were part of daily women’s garments for years and worked to constrain bodies into a uniform shape.

The trend is part of a larger push against the country’s patriarchal society that has seen record numbers of women take to the streets to demand greater equality and fight against issues such as illegal filming and sexual assault."

The illegal filming of women in bathrooms is definitely a disturbing trend here.

In much less serious news, in a country where people wears masks when they have a cold, I've had a number of female college students admit that they'll also wear one when they don't feel like putting on makeup.