Fail Spawn

I can't even with this story:

"U.S. Attorney Andrew Lelling called the parents charged in the case 'a catalog of wealth and privilege.' The schemes involved paying better students to take the SAT or ACT on the rich kids’ behalf, straight-up changing answers on the tests after the kids took them, having therapists help them get extra time on their exams, and even bribing university athletics’ coaches to pretend the students were athletic recruits. Many of the students were unaware their parents were cheating on the tests for them, the FBI said. The payments were made through a non-profit and disguised as charitable donations. According to the FBI, some parents paid up to $6.5 million for 'guaranteed admission' to colleges.

What this case shows us is how different these things are for the rich. Regular people see college as their chance of having a decent career and earning enough money, even with the burden of student loans, to survive in a society where the minimum wage won’t cover the rent anywhere—as well as, you know, a place to learn things about the world. Regular people have to work very hard to get into college and to pay for it, often for the rest of their lives. Rich people, on the other hand, see college as yet another way to pay their way into privilege—the privilege of having been to a good school, because people still insist on assuming you’re smart if you went to an elite school."

First off, half a mil to get into USC?  A fine school, no doubt, but isn't that approaching Harvard-Kushner level bribe money?

Second, I had tons of advantages for getting into college that most kids don't have.  I went to a private high school, I took a fancy-schmancy SAT prep course, I had parents that were actively invested in my doing well academically.

But at no point did it occur to any of us that I wouldn't actually have to sit the damn test myself and take some AP tests and do all the tedious paperwork and write essays and all that.

According to the story, one of these Fail Spawn couldn't even fill out an application form:

"We also have fake rowers, as well as a high school student who couldn’t fill out her own application."

But truly, the greatest threat to America these days is a freshman congresswoman suggesting that Capitalism isn't working out so well for about 85 percent of the world who can't bribe their way into elite colleges.