The Various Diners of Whatcom County 1: IHOP

IHOP Restaurant (International House of Pancakes), 420 W Bakerview Road, Bellingham, WA

Starting at an IHOP?  Are you serious?  Well, the idea was that, like a great cinemaphotographer color correcting his camera with a white sheet of paper, I'd start somewhere obvious.  And frankly, who's to say what constitutes quality when it comes to a diner?  This place is near the airport at least, and deserves a look.

Vibe: Late Capitalism has given up on trying.  (But you already knew that.)

Song heard: Elton John, "Tiny Dancer"

Coffee: Better than expected, honestly, and that was before I added some cream and sugar.

Did the yolk pop like it should?: Silly me, of course not.  Unless you've ever "popped" a hockey puck by touching it with a fork.

Can I sit and read a while?: Yes.  The service was very good.  Once I paid my waitress didn't seem to care if I stayed or left, in a good, non-pushy way.

Price: $18.86

I am all for restaurants and businesses doing what they can to adjust to COVID, but here they've put up opaque plastic guards between all of the tables.  It felt a little like a hospital with thin walls that might as well be curtains.

As for the food, well, it was off-putting that everything came individually packaged.  Sure, you get silverware, but ask for ketchup or hot sauce and you get a little paper cupette of ketchup or hot sauce.  I imagine this is to deter theft but honestly, even the sugar?  Just make me a shake in an IV bag next time.

The hash browns were pretty bad.  When you get a geometrically near-perfect specimen like this one you know it's been sitting in the freezer for a while.  The sad eggs were way overcooked.  The hollandaise was abundant -- enough to hide a few bodies even -- but cold and plastic-like.

Good service and nice coffee though.

Overall:

1 / 5 Nighthawks